Step aside girls, this one's all mine.
thanksgiving!
13 hours ago
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Why so hard to just sit here and blog?
It's really been forever, ok about 5 months, but it's FEELS like forever. No I am not pregnant. Will I be one day? Probably not. We're moving towards the decision of "giving up". I'm no Duggar, I gotta realize this. We have 2 wonderful, amazing, beautiful children and they have promised me that they will both give me tons of grand babies. We don't want to give up but they are almost 6 years old and we are without insurance and will be for at least another 2 years. Life is funny and cruel sometimes but I'm picking myself up and trying to move on. So with that being said...
I have missed you all very much! I can't believe how many of you have given birth already or have gotten pregnant since I've been "gone"! I'm sending you a BIG FAT congratulations. Keep 'em coming.
I'm divorced. I was married to my kids' dad for 7 years. We were divorced 2 days after our 7th marriage anniversary. I blame myself for the divorce entirely. I was too young to get married and everyone thought he was perfect for me. I had just come out of a really bad relationship & wanted to move on so I found comfort in my now ex-husband. I had screwed my life up with my ex-boyfriend. I lost most of my friends and pretty much all of my family. I got them all back when the boyfriend left me so when people told me how good my new boyfriend (ex-husband) was for me, I wanted to believe them. I never, not even one day of the time I was with him, felt love for him. He is a very nice, sweet, caring and most would say, handsome man. I just didn't think so. He is extremely straight-laced and serious. I wanted the bad boy...but the bad boy that would treat me good. So I continued with the relationship, married him, and had my babies with him. I am a very evil person. I thought that eventually it would get better and I'd fall in love with him. You hear about arranged marriages working out all of the time. This wasn't an arranged marriage but I thought that one day I would fall in love with him. I can't stress enough that he is the innocent in this and I screwed him over, badly. He was in love with me, very much. He was happy with our life and never saw it coming. I don't understand that part though. We hadn't um *cough* slept together in over 4 years when we divorced. But the bottom line is, I shouldn't have ever married him. I shouldn't have ever given him the false hope that I gave him. So now we are a little over 2 years divorced and I just met his new girlfriend. She is incredibly sweet and my kids love her and she loves them. It's really perfect. Except for one thing...she's 21. He's almost 37. She's actually very mature for her age. I trust her with my kids. It's just that hello she's gonna want children of her own one day and if they get married, I am terrified that my kids will want to live with them and their brothers & sisters. Their fertility challenged mother can't make that happen for them and they want it so badly you guys. I'm afraid to lose my babies. I did this to myself though and take full responsibility. My ex and I and Tommy have a really good relationship. He comes over for holidays, the ex and Tommy coach Maddie's sports teams together, and the ex and I never fight about anything. We compromise on the kids constantly. We try to make things work as best as they can because we never, ever want the kids to deal with fighting. But now here I sit, scared. Wanting to move far away. How do I deal with this?
On the bright side of life, I am so excited for Christmas. Santa is bringing the kids a Wii. That's right, we went from almost losing our house to buying a Wii! We are comfortable right now. Don't have money to blow, but can pay our bills and not freak over if we'll have food. During my lil' summer break from blogging we were struggling like crazy. We had just enough to make our car & house pymt but almost lost our car. That was a mess. Anyway affording food was a bit hard. My parents would never let us starve, so it wasn't THAT bad. We had a very wonderful surprise one day though. Our friends, Chris and Eliza, brought over a TON of groceries. They had a friend do that for them once when they were going through a rough patch and they wanted to pay it forward. What a blessing that was! We've also paid it forward now. Nobody ever became poor by giving. Don't know who said that, but it's very true.
And hey I've even stopped cussing! Well almost haha. In my mind, dropping a few f bombs makes things funnier. I don't know why. So I'm gonna leave you with a very funny joke. It's crude but way funny. My hopefully one day grand-mother-law told me this joke. So this didn't come from a teenager. This came from an almost able to apply for an AARP card, grandmother of 5! Haha.
What is the difference between drug dealers and whores? The whores can wash their crack and use it again. Laugh, you know you want to.
I have missed you all very much! I can't believe how many of you have given birth already or have gotten pregnant since I've been "gone"! I'm sending you a BIG FAT congratulations. Keep 'em coming.
I'm divorced. I was married to my kids' dad for 7 years. We were divorced 2 days after our 7th marriage anniversary. I blame myself for the divorce entirely. I was too young to get married and everyone thought he was perfect for me. I had just come out of a really bad relationship & wanted to move on so I found comfort in my now ex-husband. I had screwed my life up with my ex-boyfriend. I lost most of my friends and pretty much all of my family. I got them all back when the boyfriend left me so when people told me how good my new boyfriend (ex-husband) was for me, I wanted to believe them. I never, not even one day of the time I was with him, felt love for him. He is a very nice, sweet, caring and most would say, handsome man. I just didn't think so. He is extremely straight-laced and serious. I wanted the bad boy...but the bad boy that would treat me good. So I continued with the relationship, married him, and had my babies with him. I am a very evil person. I thought that eventually it would get better and I'd fall in love with him. You hear about arranged marriages working out all of the time. This wasn't an arranged marriage but I thought that one day I would fall in love with him. I can't stress enough that he is the innocent in this and I screwed him over, badly. He was in love with me, very much. He was happy with our life and never saw it coming. I don't understand that part though. We hadn't um *cough* slept together in over 4 years when we divorced. But the bottom line is, I shouldn't have ever married him. I shouldn't have ever given him the false hope that I gave him. So now we are a little over 2 years divorced and I just met his new girlfriend. She is incredibly sweet and my kids love her and she loves them. It's really perfect. Except for one thing...she's 21. He's almost 37. She's actually very mature for her age. I trust her with my kids. It's just that hello she's gonna want children of her own one day and if they get married, I am terrified that my kids will want to live with them and their brothers & sisters. Their fertility challenged mother can't make that happen for them and they want it so badly you guys. I'm afraid to lose my babies. I did this to myself though and take full responsibility. My ex and I and Tommy have a really good relationship. He comes over for holidays, the ex and Tommy coach Maddie's sports teams together, and the ex and I never fight about anything. We compromise on the kids constantly. We try to make things work as best as they can because we never, ever want the kids to deal with fighting. But now here I sit, scared. Wanting to move far away. How do I deal with this?
On the bright side of life, I am so excited for Christmas. Santa is bringing the kids a Wii. That's right, we went from almost losing our house to buying a Wii! We are comfortable right now. Don't have money to blow, but can pay our bills and not freak over if we'll have food. During my lil' summer break from blogging we were struggling like crazy. We had just enough to make our car & house pymt but almost lost our car. That was a mess. Anyway affording food was a bit hard. My parents would never let us starve, so it wasn't THAT bad. We had a very wonderful surprise one day though. Our friends, Chris and Eliza, brought over a TON of groceries. They had a friend do that for them once when they were going through a rough patch and they wanted to pay it forward. What a blessing that was! We've also paid it forward now. Nobody ever became poor by giving. Don't know who said that, but it's very true.
And hey I've even stopped cussing! Well almost haha. In my mind, dropping a few f bombs makes things funnier. I don't know why. So I'm gonna leave you with a very funny joke. It's crude but way funny. My hopefully one day grand-mother-law told me this joke. So this didn't come from a teenager. This came from an almost able to apply for an AARP card, grandmother of 5! Haha.
What is the difference between drug dealers and whores? The whores can wash their crack and use it again. Laugh, you know you want to.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
WILL BE BACK, just gonna wait til shit quits hitting the fan. *Muah*
So I'm gonna click the private button just until I have something positive to say. I'm not gonna write anything, so no worries about missing any of the very important things I have to say (ha!)...I'll keep reading and trying to comment but we all know I stink it up at commenting. Plus I don't have internet anymore so I'm at the mercy of my mom's computer at her house. Bye bye for now.
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